There is a Jewish Shabat tradition called Kiddush which I learned a little bit about on my recent trip to Israel. 

If you ask anyone on the trip about this word, they would laugh, and remember Pastor Bobby asking to be "kiddush-ed". It's a moment that will be hard to forget. But more than that, it is a perfect description for me of the work that the Lord has been doing in my life recently. 

The word, kiddush, literally means holiness. At the Shabat dinner on Friday night, the man of the house sets the kiddush cup on a plate and fills it with wine. But he doesn't just fill it, he fills it to overflowing. This symbolizes being full to overflowing with God, overflowing with blessing, and sanctifies the family and the time for Shabat. Although I am no expert on Jewish traditions, it's hard to miss the beauty of this picture.

Hearing Pastor Bobby say, "Kiddush me", now has a fuller picture. He wanted to be full to overflowing with God, holy and set apart for Him. 

If you were to ask me how I came back different from this trip, my answer would be this: I came back full.

According to Strongs Concordance, full means: to make full, to fill up, to fill to the full, to completely fill to the top: so that nothing shall be wanting, fill to the brim.  

I will never read verses or speak about the being filled with all the fullness of God the same way. There is a picture ingrained in my mind of kiddush and an experience that goes with it that I haven't quite been able to put words too. 

Heading into this trip, I had no expectations. I was anxious and nervous about what to expect. I was working and had 75 other people that I had to ensure were being taken care of. I didn't ask the Lord for anything specific other than the ability to get through the trip. 

By His grace, I did just that, and He showed up in more ways than I ever could have asked for, in ways I didn't even know I needed. There is something remarkable (and inexplicable) about walking where Jesus walked and seeing the places He would have seen. I wasn't going on this trip with a crisis of faith but I came back knowing, more than before, that He is true. 

I came back with experiences with God. I came back with strangers that became family as we bonded over being mutually awestruck at the places we got to see and experience. I came back leaving the old in the Sea of Galilee and walking in the new as I was baptized and confessed that I believe that Jesus and His work on the cross is real.

I came back full.

I've been honest in previous writings about the struggles I found myself facing over the past few years. As I look back, I can see how God, in His mercy, came in and cleaned out the crevices of my heart - the pain and the brokenness. And now, with more clarity than before, I can see how he cleaned it out to come back and fill the crevices with all the fullness of Himself.

I came back and I feel kiddush-ed: full to overflowing with my God and His blessings.


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