Taste and See

I was asked a very interesting question last night.
As I shared a bit about my life before I knew the Lord with a girl, she asked me if I found fulfillment in the things I did? When I was fully immersed in the world and the things of the world, did it satisfy the longings of my heart? Did it mask the pain I was trying to hide?  Did it bring me any enjoyment? Did I know it was wrong?

I'm thankful for the innocence behind her questions. She hasn't experienced that lifestyle and I pray with everything in me that she never will. But it got me thinking. How did I really feel when I was living like that?

Looking back now I see so clearly how the choices I was making were driven by a need or desire or fear; how I was making every decision with the hopes of finding love or being accepted. But did I really know how empty it all was? The short answer - no.

I walked away from the Lord when I was 18. The thing about walking is that you don't suddenly arrive to a place, you walk step by step away from where you were to another place. Walking away from the Lord wasn't a conscious decision, it was one bad choice after the other.

I didn't realize what I was walking away from, or what I was missing because I hadn't cultivated the kind of relationship with the Lord that would cause me to miss Him when I didn't spend time with Him. I hand't really tasted and seen that the Lord was good. One step after the other, I ended up in a place that I never expected to be.

And I started thinking about a quote that I have heard so often, "You have too much of Jesus to enjoy the world..." I didn't have enough of Jesus for the things of the world to be distasteful.

The fact of life is that humans are fickle. We say one thing one moment and change our mind within five minutes. Adding to that the temptations of the world and our flesh - we can make some bad choices. It may not be right away, it may be one small bad choice after another but we can very easily find ourselves in a position we don't want to be: far away from our Creator and Savior.

So what's the point in thinking about all this now? There is an exhortation I find for myself, and hopefully anyone reading this. Today, taste and see that the Lord is good. Cultivate a relationship with Him, today, that if you stepped away tomorrow, you would miss Him. Today, seek to know Him and love him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Get to know Jesus so intimately that the world is distasteful and settling for anything less than Him would be bitter.

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