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Showing posts from April, 2014

Beautiful because I'm His

When I was an infant, my mother died and my father was absent for the majority of my life. I grew up with my grandma, whom I love dearly, but she drank. When she drank, she had the habit of telling me I wasn't good enough and pointing out my flaws. As I grew up thoughts of worthlessness sprouted in my heart and head. My young mind attributed my parents absence and my grandmas words to something that I had done, or rather who I was. If I was different, then my mom would still be alive or my dad would be around. And I began a search to find someone who would stay, someone who would say that I mattered and that I wasn't worthless.

I found that in seeking after relationships. My first boyfriend cheated on me which continued to feed these thoughts of worthlessness. I started going to church shortly after that. But I wasn't looking to Jesus for these issues, I was looking for "good boys" who wouldn't hurt me because they went to church. Obviously, that wasn't a…