Wrecked

My heart is thumping so loudly, I am certain they can hear it in the next room. I try to fight back tears, but I'm not very successful. This is becoming a quite regular experience for me these days. My heart is heavy and Jesus is wrecking my life, literally.

My heart and mind are shouting out, seeking some sort of connection between what I am learning of Jesus and the way I'm living my life, the way our culture is living, but all I can see is this huge disconnect and hundreds upon hundreds of hurting hearts.

I'm uncomfortable with being comfortable.

I'm reading of and hearing of many men and women who chose to lay aside the comfortable and chose to follow Jesus into the uncomfortable, sacrificing what the world considers life (homes, cars, careers, money) for the only life that can truly satisfy, the life that Jesus calls us to.

And I want that.

But, as I look around my life and I see an abundance of things, I have to wonder, am I placing more value on what I materially have than on what I have spiritually? I have been blessed beyond measure. I have been given a great job to afford the clothes, car and life that I have, but I know that that is not what life is about and this is what Jesus is teaching me.

Am I using what God has blessed me with to glorify Him? I honestly can't answer that question with anything other than a resounding "No".

Am I using my time, money and resources to glorify Him and show His love to others? Again the answer is a resounding, "No".

Over the past few weeks, God has been breaking my heart for those around me, near and far, who are suffering; the children who have never known what it is to be loved, that have been abandoned by their parents, those that have been abused, or whose lives have been ravaged by disease and poverty; the young woman who have been abducted and forced into a life of drugs and human trafficking; the young woman who are trying to find their worth in their bodies; the young men and women who are caught in lifestyles simply because they were born into difficult circumstances.

I can't justify the way I am living knowing that there are so many who have close to nothing. I can't justify not loving them and reaching out to them knowing that Jesus reached out to me and loved me when no one else would.

Am I willing to be a little bit uncomfortable to show others the love of Jesus?
If I really believe that Jesus is who He says He is and has done what He has said He has done, why wouldn't I be willing to venture into the uncomfortable for the sake of making Him known?

Jesus is wrecking my life, my thought process and my priorities and yet, I couldn't be more thankful.

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